Road to Redemption

Why is that our family and friends are the people who like to push our buttons the most? They know what makes us tick and yet they use that to their advantage. Do you have a sibling that changes your mood whenever you see them, or do you have a sibling who always says something to piss you off? If the answer to either of those questions is yes, you should do something to combat the situation. From the time my sister was able to walk and talk, she and I have been at each other's throats. We would compete for our parents attention, new toys, and even for getting snacks. There were times when I didn't act like a big brother to her, and I was extremely mean at times. But, there was a defining moment in our relationship around the time I was twenty. It was late one night, may be around midnight, and she called me crying. Even though I was halfway asleep, I knew something was wrong. The next few words that came from her lips were, "Ryan I'm sorry for everything I said to you over the years. I never meant anything I said to you and I love you. I only want the best for you." After I heard those words, I felt tears in my eyes and I began to weep. I wasn't weeping because I was sad, but I was weeping because I was happy. My sister made my night and changed my life forever. Her words of encouragement took me down a path of redemption. I faced alot of demons during that portion of the journey. I've said all of that to say this, "Be careful what you say to people!" The reason I say that is because one person's kind words can make a world of difference. No matter how big or how small those words can ignite a fire that was once dormant, or they can give you affirmation that this isn't where you should be in life. There are many different reasons for wht words can do, but you should remember that your tongue is a powerful weapon. So make sure you use it wisely.

Family Members

Everybody has a select groups of family members they can't stand. They either drink too much, smoke too much, or even talk too much. Regardless of what you don't like about these family members, you pretty much can say that they get on your last nerve. Some of us can count on one hand how many family members get on our nerves. What is it about them that makes your skin crawl? Chances are there is a list of things you can say about this person or these people. How many people out there have a family member who think they know it all? Every time you get around this person it's like they are God's gift to all knowledge or something. Any topic that comes up this person has a detailed answer as to why the situation is like it is or why things are they way turned out. I just have one question for them. Who died and appointed the final voice on the matter? I missed the memo about you being the "all knowing source of information" somebody please forward me this message. I know everyone has that family member that drinks too much and becomes the "life of the party". This person in the family is kept around for entertainment purposes. I bet this particular family member is an uncle or cousin who is known as the "drunk" in the family, but this person manages to keep the party live and in full effect. No matter who it is they always seem to keep a smile on every one's faces even if the weather is gloomy outside. I bet this same family member gets the party going by dancing around in circles with a red cup in their hand talkin' about "you don't know nothing about this here". By the time this person starts to settle down, everyone is shaking their heads like here he goes again. Or how about the uncle who gambles too much? He comes to the events looking for every way possible to win some money from someone in the family. The smaller children may be out back playing basketball, and here he comes talkin' bout I bet you can't make this many shots in a row. C'mon now Unc we just out here trying to have some fun. Don't let Unc get to the card table. It's gonna be all hell if he sits down because he plans to leave the table with his pride and more money than he came with originally. His favorite drink is a long neck Budweiser followed by a shot of Jack Daniels whiskey. When Unc comes into town, there are more problems than solutions. What trips me out about Unc is that he is a better card player under the influence and rarely loses a hand. What about that family member who always wanna borrow something from you? Always talkin' bout "aye aye nephew let me hold something and I'll get it back to u Monday"...ummm how about "no thank you"! Why is that this uncle always in need of some money like he don't work or have some type of income even if it's just social security. No matter who the person is in your family, they are always gonna find some way to get on your nerves. Honestly, these individuals give us stories to tell to co-workers, other family members who didn't see it happening or couldn't make the event, and even conversations with our significant others. Family is precious so cherish every moment that you get to spend with them because you never know when you will see them.

Finding Your Lane

One of the toughest challenges in life that we face as humans is finding our lane. We're all born with many different talents, but there is one talent that takes us over the top and into our destiny. Some people are good at acting, singing, dancing, and even teaching. Whatever your gift may be, you have to work at it and harness your craft because once you hone your talents a whole new world awaits you. Although we are born multi-talented, one gift still stands out more than others. You may ask yourself at this point, "Which one of my talents sticks out like a sore thumb?" I was on Twitter today, and I saw a pastor from back home in Dothan mention something about "finding your lane." As I was reading his tweets, I started thinking about the talents I possess. I can play the drums, play the trombone, write, play basketball, speak, and even sing in a choir. Those are just a few of my talents. Even though this list may seem short, it still plagues my mind because I don't know which of these talents is my strongest one. I took some time to meditate while I was driving to my job to do some training, and I came up with a scenario. I analyzed the fact that I like to tell stories, and I can portray my message to an audience clearly. Math was one of my least favorite subjects in school, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to come up with the solution to this problem. I thought about using my intellect and ability to tell stories be the driving force and dominant talent. I don't know where this talent will take me, but I'm sure of one thing if God is on my side I will not fail. Even though I came to this conclusion, I still don't have a clear vision as to what talent to use. When "finding your lane", you can't be afraid that you may fail a couple of times before you actually succeed. Here's an example...Michael Jordan wanted to be a part of his varsity basketball team in the 10th grade, but his coach cut him because he felt he wasn't the right fit for them. Determined to prove him wrong, Michael worked harder than he ever had before and made the team next season. After that setback, we all know that he went on to be one of the greatest basketball players to ever play in the professional ranks. Moral of the story is don't let one setback stop you from pursuing what you feel is your dominant talent. Nobody really knows the road celebrities had to travel to get to where they are until they actually reveal their story of success. The biggest misconception of success is that it comes easy. Everything we do in life comes with a price. Now what that price may be totally depends on what you're trying to achieve. "Finding your lane" also means you have to cut people off who you may have once associated with until you reach your goals. Sometimes some of the closest people to us are our biggest enemies and nay sayers. Be careful of who you tell your dreams and aspirations to because they could very well take your ideas and make then their own. So remember when "finding your lane", you have to find that one thing you feel you can excel at and practice, practice, practice. Keep practicing until you feel you have honed your talent, and when you are ready to take it to the next level do it without any disregard for failure. "Find you lane" and be fearless once you find it!

Man in the Mirror

How can we change other people if we don't look in the mirror first? I have given a handful of my friends advice only to realize that I need to start taking my own advice. The toughest task is taking your own advice. I find myself looking in the mirror late at night, and I analyze the person I portray on a daily basis. There are times when I agree with the person on the outside, and there are other times when I feel like I'm a contradiction to my personal character. So you have to ask yourself this one question.....what do I personify? Am I leaving a good impression, or am I leaving a bad impression? If you are asking yourself these questions at this very moment, you feel you can be a better "YOU."

When I think of becoming a better me, I think of Michael Jackson's song "Man in the Mirror" because it's the perfect example of how we should live on a daily basis. Speaking of that song in particular, I'm listening to it right now because I wanna make a difference in someone else's life other than my own. How do you feel you can impact another human being unless you start with yourself? My personal opinion states that you can't impact anyone before you impact your own life. I know you're probably asking yourself how can I impact my own life, and I'm glad that you asked. Take a look at the way you carry yourself. Do you walk around with your pants half way on your own behind? Do you use slang on a regular basis? How do you treat people around you? Are you marked up like the subway in Harlem? (thinking about Wayne's verse on "Soldier" with Beyonce) Whenever you have the time get in front of a mirror and look at your own presentation. Too many times we get mad at the world when things aren't going the way we feel they should. Have you ever thought about the fact that people are watching you even when you don't realize it?

Have you ever went to an interview and wondered why you didn't get the job? Maybe it was something you said , or it could be a deeper issue. Remember that time you and your friends went to the mall to hang out last Saturday. There's a great chance that the interviewer saw you with your friends acting an ass in public, or maybe the interviewer saw how you were wearing your clothes that day. I can go on and on with many different scenarios, but the main point of this blog is to take a good look at yourself. Evaluate the image you let the world see daily. You can't be a chameleon either. Switching up your image on a daily based on how you feel will come back and bite you in the butt. So before you can change things around you or in your life just take a good look at yourself and make a change!!! Be the "man or woman in the mirror"!

Pick Up Lines

I have been many places in my brief stint here on Earth, but I must say when it comes to approaching the opposite sex, some people just don't have a clue. One place in particular I can think of that people have no clue is the club scene. Loud music, people sweating and dancing, and I almost forgot there's alcohol involved!. Even if you are under the influence, you can't just say the first thing that comes to mind because even though you think she's faded she's on her game. I've seen it happen more times than you could possible imagine. One of my favorite pick up lines is this one here, "Excuse me miss shawty...." Wait just a minute here. What happened to just "excuse me miss"? Where did "shawty"? come into play? Oh yeah, the alcohol probably kicked in at that point. Depending on your surroundings, you have probably heard some classic lines yourself. Where I live, I hear this one all the time "shawty in the (whatever she may have on at the time) come here gul" or "aye shawty with that fat ass you looking good baby girl". Every time I hear someone say those 2 lines, I fall in the floor laughing. Not on the floor, but in the floor literally. I laugh so hard that my sides cramp up. Then there are the hood niggaz as they call themselves. They have a totally different way of coming at a woman. I've seen these individuals come at a woman with a lot of sense, and as soon as she walks away or says no, she becomes a "hoe", "bitch", "buckethead hoe", or whatever comes to mind after rejection. Was all that really necessary? I mean come on now. Who in their right mind would take it that far? I guess someone who hasn't been around a better example I guess. There are too many pick up lines, but just remember to use the head on your shoulders when approaching women. All a woman wants from a man at the end of the day is to be appreciated for who she is and not what she has to offer. Be respectful and mindful of what you say to a woman because you don't want another man saying those things to your sister, mother, grandmother, or any female family member you have. As a matter of fact, think about if you had a daughter for a second, would you want someone talking to her like that? Think about it peeps...deuces!!!!

The Relationship Afterlife

Everyone in their lifetime has been through this stage at some point in their life whether it was a young age or at the present moment, but no matter what the case as I stated before everyone has been there. You've just experienced a bad break up, a broken heart, or you're running searching for the right mate. Let's pause for a moment and analyze exactly what I'm saying to you. You have been with ur mate for about 10 months, and you find out that your mate has cheated on you. Right now, you're probably feeling devastated, and you are in a state of shock. According to you, the relationship was going great and there were no apparent issues. But then, your subconscious mind starts speaking to you, and you start wondering was there something you could have done differently. All of these random thoughts starting formulating in your brain and all you can do is wonder. This is the point where you start experiencing what I like to call "the relationship afterlife". The reason I call it the "relationship afterlife" is because up until this point you were indulged by your relationship with your mate. You were dating, having sex, taking trips, meeting family, etc. Now here comes the moment of truth, and the big question hits your brain. You ask yourself this particular question here, "What am I going to do now?" For some people it's an easy road, but for others this road is tough. Forget the people who can bounce from relationship to relationship let's focus on the tough road. You have just broken up with your mate of 10 months, and you're left vulnerable to the outside world. You want to date, but you're cautious because you just got out of a really bad relationship. You put your guard up, and you don't really expose too much information because the wound is still fresh. You start partying more with your friends jumping from club to club, engaging people to fill that void, and you even create a little blackbook of new contacts to date. All while this is going on in your life, you never take the time to really and truly deal with your emotional hurt. You consume yourself with multiple tasks, exercise, movies, or whatever hobby you have just so you don't have to think about your relationship. This is why I call it the "relationship afterlife." It's a deep scar that haunts you forever until you deal with it. Some people even take it as far as having "friends with benefits", "cut buddies", or just some person u casually have sex with on a regular basis. No matter what you title this aspect of a friendship, you still haven't tackled the real issue at hand. What do you do with this huge emotional scar you have on your heart? Are you willing to let the next person you want to start dating know about this emotional scar? Do you feel they have a right to know about your past experiences? These are questions you have to tackle in order to move forward and have a successful relationship after your break up. The "relationship afterlife" is something that can consume you, and you can also get so caught up in it that you may overlook a person who was waiting to help you heal your wound. So before you get caught in the "relationship afterlife" take the time to deal with why you're hurting now so that you can focus on your next relationship and give your all. Until next time folks....peace!!!!

Never Go A Day Without Expressing True Feelings

Everyone has experienced that awkward feeling in their life where they realize they should have said something to a certain someone but never got the chance. I sit back and wonder why is it that people never express how they truly feel until it's too late. Here's a familiar scenario here: you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have got into an argument and you say everything you want to say at the top of your lungs and leave the scene mad. You leave and get in your car, and you get into a really bad accident and your life is in critical condition. At that moment, everything that was said back in the house becomes a distant memory, and the room is filled with I love yous and I can't or don't want to live without statements. Basically, it's the typical movie scene where the female/male lead is about to die and he/she is crying their eyes out screaming "NO!!!" at the top of their lungs and then the infamous fade to black scene is next. Back to the present, you can never take a day for granted because you never know what will happen in the course of a day. If you have a broken relationship with a family member, friend, or even your parents take the time to let them know how you truly feel because the next second isn't promised. Here's an excerpt from my life: I was 13 years old and my Mom was on her death bed battling breast cancer. I was at baseball practice having fun with my friends, and a few days earlier she said some things that didn't bode well with me. I let a couple of days go by, and I never said anything to her. On June 12, 2000 my mother passed away from breast cancer while I was at baseball practice gearing up for a tournament. I never got to express to her how I really and truly felt about having her in my life. I can never get that chance again because she's resting peacefully in heaven. I wish that every day I could go back and tell her how I felt so that she could hear the words part from my lips before she took her final breath. With that last story in mind, you should rectify and mend all broken relationships you have in your life because the next second of your life, or the person you have to mend the relationship with will be taken from you. I'm outta here peace!!!